slumlord

I own a home.  Well technically BofA owns my home, but whatever--semantics.  The house is way to large for me and the kid, by several thousand square feet.  The cost of just keeping it cool/warm was killing me financially, so last year I decided to rent it out and move into a rental closer to work and family.  The result was a nasty custody battle, several episodes of anxiety attacks, and financial distress, but here we are, a year later.  I am in a rental that while I am not in love with the house, it's everything I need and allows R to attend a great school with his cousins.  And I have tenants.  Who feel that paying their rent on time is not really as important as I do.  So here it is, the end of the month, and still no rent from the tenants.  Today was their last day to pay or I'd evict.  I'm almost hopeful they don't because I'd love to evict them and then short sell the house.  I'll never live there again, and I'll never see the price I've got it mortgaged to.....but I am certain they will pay at the last minute, thus again keep me in the position of landlord once again.

Sigh.

good lord

while playing monster truck jam on the Wii, R (driving as the girl) "turns his truck over"

The BF:  Just like your mom
R:  Yeah just like my mom, turns over all the time.

WTF????

regression

My kid has been potty trained for what seems like forever (he is six after all).  I had a mommy manifesto whereby as of his 6th birthday I would no longer wipe his butt after a "number 2"--I was tired of hearing "MOOOOOOOMMMMM, I'm done."  every time he pooped.  so we prepped and taught how to wipe and magically, before the 6th birthday, he started wiping his own stinky butt.  Fast forward to this week, where the kid is totally incapable of wiping his own ass.  And the shit spread all over his bathroom due to his disgusting habit of sticking his finger up his butt to see if it's clean (WTF??????????????).  So after many underwear changes and bathroom scrub-downs, I've decided that I have to demand wiping rights to be returned to me.

Now the kicker...he's with his dad 3 weekends a month (my judge sucked) so I figured we'd commiserate and brainstorm solutions together.  Only, his dad swears R is the perfect pottier at his home.  Is it possible that a child can exhibit a behavior regularly daily, but on the weekends he's with his dad he's perfect?  I can't believe it.  When I was a kid, when I went to my mom's for the weekend, I was totally myself.  Which means I was a total shit.  But I knew she had guilt for not maintaining custody and I used that to my advantage.  I was a few years older than R, but still, he knows.  And the fact that his dad refuses to either admit that there is some regression or in denial that there is makes this "co-parenting" thing a real pain in the ass.

How do people do this??? 

Being female

This is the time of year when I get all test female out of the way.  Last week was the oh so fun PAP smear (came back clear, yay!), today was routine bloodwork and the ever enjoyable mammogram.  I am convinced they can find a way that doesn't involve smooshing one's breast into a pancake, but I know how important these things are, so I comply with a smile and a thank you to the tech.  Tomorrow I undergo my eye exam where I will be told (again) that I really need bi-focals, and this time I will probably comply.  I hate not being able to see well enough to watch tv with enjoyment or play wii with the kid.

What's your "favorite" annual exam?

Ah, fun with Twister

Mom, I was playing a game with B and C (cousins) where you spin the thing and it tells you what color to put your hands and feet on.  You don't need to know how to read, R means right and L means left.  It's easy.  I love the Twisters."

Alrighty then.  Think he's ready for college.

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Good times in the Mo household.  Picked up R late from his dad's so they wouldn't have to rush through dinner.  yes, I am that ex-wife who does whatever he asks to just fucking keep the peace.

Anyway, we get home and R demands something or the other in his typical dictator fashion.  I turn to him and I say, "Am I your slave?  Didn't Abraham Lincoln abolish slavery?  Go get it yourself." 

and you know what???  He did.

amazing.

painting

I am not a domestic goddess type of person.  I'm a hire a maid even though I live in a shoe box kind of person.  That being said, the BF bought a house that needed some work and since he'll be living with me and R in said shoe box until it's habitable, I offered up my services to get it moving along. 

This brings us to yesterday, painting day.  I have, in my 42 years on this planet, painted one wall one time.  And I hated every freaking second of it.  And I had help!  So yesterday when tasked with painting 2 bedrooms and a hallway, I quite honestly was rather annoyed that I had volunteered.  But I am a girl of my word, so I boldly went where I don't like to go, roller in hand.  I still hated every second of it, and I still suck at it, but I did it.  The results showed my lack of skill (how the hell does the paint not stick to the freaking wall???  Aha, BF just informed me that he got the cheap paint--2 coats minimum). 

He worked too, don't get me wrong.  "Fixing up a house is a marathon, not a sprint."  thanks, genius.  Having my work critiqued also didn't help my mood.

At the end of the day, after 6 or so hours of painting, coat one was on and drying.  And I'm not volunteering again for that chore. 

And I will never paint a wall again.  Its good to have goals :-)